I was pregnant and very happy. I felt the energy of this beautiful baby she was strong and earth bound. I felt a true connection to her and when she was born I felt enormous amounts of love for her. Then as time went on I still loved her enormously but I got tired and sick all the time. I couldn’t cope and no one was helping me in the way I needed. My first child was a completely different story and a different kid and I was ok. So why was I getting sick? Why did the world as I know it fall apart?
I had asked this question for years blaming one thing or another and asking spirit to guide me to the answer but usually got a “it just is” type answer. In the past I wanted a quick fix because I was in a situation where it was challenging for me to be able to sit down relax and give everything I needed for myself and the children. Fortunately now I am in a bit of a better situation and I see things differently.
I blamed my husband, I blamed my child, I blamed society and at times myself. I struggled for years but coped with the pain and mental thought patterns. At first I went to the doctor many times and specialists. I spent a lot of time and money on doctors that found nothing. They told me nothing was wrong with me and at the time I was very angry because I was in pain, I was sick, I was struggling and no one seemed to care. How was I to care for others when I did not even have the strength to care for myself.
It took years for me to work out the power within me. To trust myself with the energy. I was bought up to renounce this type of work in fear of it, but I knew it was right. It is a natural part of who I am and besides all of that it was the only thing that worked. At first I was a real novice and I let in everything and that screwed me up a bit because there are entity’s that want to feed off you if you allow them to. I learnt hard and fast to use protection and to always say the words “only in the highest possible good” and I would ask for guidance a lot. Now I see the energy, I still ask for guidance and say in the highest possible good but it is easier. We have to do all energy work in our highest possible good and to get to that point we have to work through our darkest nightmares sometimes but in the end you will always feel lighter and the next time the darkness comes up you will know how to let it go, love it and forgive it and it will get easier every time you do the work.
So I still feel the pain in my body, I get sick, but it is part of my gift. I am an empath. I see and feel what is going on and I work with the universe and source. I have a job to do.. So to speak.
Now I know what to do. I trust myself on all levels. I feed my body foods that heal me. I eat a whole food type diet. No dairy, wheat or sugar even though I do go slightly off it every now and then. When I eat I love my food so much and that love changes it for the better for me when it comes into me for digestion and to nourish my body and soul.
I make intentions. I set intentions constantly for the kind of life I want and the only kind of life I will accept. Remember that each one of us are here to remember our own not so secret power. We have just forgotten over lifetimes of being bullied that we are magnificent and we are the creators of worlds.
So for me the pain and suffering of others is what I see and feel. In my mothers and grandmothers time people would not talk of these things, but now we can. It has become the new normal to know and accept that we are infinite, multidimensional beings.